Love in the Dark
by Inuzuka Notori
Summary: When Shizuru is rejected by Natsuki, her mental stability takes a turn for the worst. Turning her back on love for others, she fills the gap in her heart with none other than a self-proclaimed more mature version of herself: Shizuru Viola.
1. Narcissistic

**WARNING:** This is a dark fic. It may lead to a lighter sequel, but not at this point. This is not a ShizNat fic. Shizuru and Natsuki will not get together. Am I clear? Good, then enjoy :D.

Also I have edited the little legend a tad; but it's an AUf, who cares. XD

**And thanks a bunch to little_firebird from MaiUniverse for beta-ing this chapter! She's really good at it o-o. XD**

**I – Narcissistic**

_We have been friends for so long..._ Shizuru thought as her ruby eyes glanced up at the girl sitting on her desk.

_Since she was in middle school... and now I'm going to be graduating. How did it come to this?_

"Hmm... I'm having trouble with this one, could you help me?"

"Of course, Natsuki."

Of course, for Natsuki, Shizuru would do anything. Anything to be closer, and to be needed by her. She stood up and leaned over the desk as far as she could, perhaps a little farther than she needed to, so that the younger girl's shoulder was pressed against her chest. Natsuki didn't notice things like this anymore. After all, Shizuru was naturally just a very physically affectionate person. Nothing more than that, of course not.

"Here, you have to move this word to here," Shizuru instructed, her finger pointing to the problem in question. Natsuki's greatest academic difficulty was in the study of English, and since Shizuru was proficient in the language, she made sure that she was the first to offer her services as a tutor. Even after the former nodded and scribbled more notes onto her worksheet, it took a few seconds for the latter to pull herself away.

_In a month... I won't be able to see her every day like this..._ Though her delicate smile never faltered, Shizuru's heart sank further into herself.

_It has to be now._

The sun was glowing through the open window, reflecting off the long navy locks that swayed in the breeze. Shizuru should have been working, but she couldn't help it. This girl made her do things without even asking. The piles of things she had set on her desk had all been literally pushed aside, just to allow Natsuki to sit where she wanted: her favourite spot, right on top of the desk.

_Closest to me..._ Shizuru smiled again, a bit more whole this time, more confident as she stood up, signalling the time to leave.

Natsuki, glad to finally be done with school for the day, hopped off the desk and ran a hand over the back of her skirt to make sure it was straight. After gathering her work that she would continue at home, Shizuru led the way out of the student council room and down the hall. Side by side with Natsuki, their arms accidently brushed against each other continuously. These two were close after all, they were best friends.

_I am special to Natsuki..._ Shizuru thought peacefully as they walked down the hall of the empty building.

_She isn't close to anyone except me. She... she cares about me... I know it._

The light footsteps came to a sudden stop as they entered the large foyer of the school. Shizuru had stopped first and a few feet later Natsuki did as well to keep from getting too far ahead. The dome above them continued to pour the orange glow all around the two girls and the fabled mystical room. Natsuki eyed a soft smirk as Shizuru stepped towards the circular railing that was covered in ribbons, letting her fingers to trace over one nearest to her.

_... For the strongest love..._ she wished.

"Natsuki, you know that they say if you wish hard enough in this place, you can find true love?"

The navy-haired girl shifted her weight from one leg to the other, looking up in thought for a moment.

"Yeah, that's what I hear people say... Something about, I dunno... confessing and all that girly stuff," Natsuki shrugged and sighed bored, but she was then quickly entranced by the look Shizuru was giving her, "...What?"

"I'm in love with you, Natsuki," the girl's lips curved into a smile, partly in anticipation of a positive answer, and partly out of pride for having finally said it. However, she was failing to notice the brand of shock on the other girl's face.

"It's been almost two years since we met," she continued, "I... I have always loved you."

"...All this time?" Natsuki finally muttered, her body stiffening, "So... you..."

"Natsuki?" Shizuru's gaze turned worrisome when she saw her heart's desire beginning to take small steps back.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought we were friends... but all this time you were-"

"We still are friends," she reached her hand out, but froze down to her core when it was swatted away.

"NO!" Natsuki shouted, stepping back even further, clenching her eyes shut, "We weren't. Not if you lied to me about this and- Gah! Now it all makes sense! Why you were always around me I-... We weren't friends..."

"Natsuki! Wait!" Shizuru called. Although she was still unable to move, the pain had poisoned her entire body, and all she could do was watch the fleeting figure through eyes glossed with tears. They had been the only two people in the world mere seconds ago, and now, all that remained in that world was Shizuru alone.

"What... just happened...?" she whispered to herself, knees buckling under the weight of her heavy heart. The once vibrant red of her eyes began to lose their lustre, staring emptily at the door that had since shut her inside the dome, silencing her from the outside. There were no sounds beyond her short, shaky breaths and the faint scratching of her nails against the tile floor.

_She... abandoned me..._

-0-

Deafening silence made Shizuru sure she was the only one in the room. She couldn't see anything, and the smells had vanished. Her mouth was dry and felt nothing more than light softness around her body. She was sure fear would be creeping over her if she could feel anything at all. Nothing was certain right now.

_Dead or alive? Don't care... Where am I? Doesn't matter... There is only one thing you know. The one thing you can trust and be sure of is that you exist. Only you._

Ruby eyes fluttered open then, it seemed she was alive, but not in the place she last remembered. It was this place around her that was dead.

_That's right... I am alive... It is everything around me that's dead. But me, I'm alive. Yes._

The thoughts danced around her brain, piquing the interest of the many facets of her personality. Shizuru was regaining consciousness, but kept herself quiet to rationally observe her state. She was not injured, nor hooked up to any more machines aside from the heart rate monitor which was indicating a stable reading. All in all, she seemed to be in perfect physical condition.

Just then a doctor came in and, after greeting her in a proper manner, flipped through a chart and looked over the girl's body.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little confused, I don't think I should be in the hospital..."

"Well, you've regained strength now, but you were brought in when a student found you passed out at your school."

It all came back to her in the single short gasp she made. Shizuru gripped the bed sheets with trembling fists and shut her eyes. Yes, what had it been that brought her to this point?

_Natsuki... is gone,_ she choked for a second, although being in the presence of others had actually helped in keeping her composure, _She was all you had, and she is gone. You are alone. Only you._

"No..." she muttered, quiet enough that the doctor couldn't hear while adjusting the monitor next to her, "I'm not alone I-"

"_Have Natsuki?" That's how you would usually finish that sentence... but she's gone now._

Shizuru took a deep breath to quell her thoughts. She couldn't break down again. This was already going to be a bad enough mess when she got back to school. And whatever it was she was thinking about, it only seemed to curse her emotions further.

"It was this morning?" she asked, getting to her feet and looking down at her clothes.

"Mm," the doctor noted as he helped her up, "There wasn't any physical damage, so I suggest seeing a psychiatrist for whatever caused you to get to this state."

He handed her a card which Shizuru hesitantly took and looked at before smiling mirthlessly. It may have had its uses, but not this time. The girl was painfully aware of what led to her passing out and frankly did not want to talk about it.

"Thank you," she said anyway, "I will consider it."

And with that she stepped out of the room. It was time to go home.

-0-

Shizuru let out a deep sigh as she stacked a pile of papers at the corner of her desk. Her eyes had continually radiated annoyance at the amount of work that she had been stuck with to make up for her two-day absence following her little emotional mishap. The other members of the council had all gone, and despite Reito offering to help out with the workload, Shizuru insisted that she could do it just fine by herself. And so it brought her to now, where she groaned and opened her laptop, prepared to work on the writing portion of her tasks.

A few minutes into it, Shizuru found herself staring at a blank screen; her thoughts were still swirling around the recent events. She took a moment to rest her wrists and leaned back in the large desk chair, her eyes still open with furrowed brows that gazed at the empty ceiling.

_Natsuki... tch,_ her growing depression was swatted back by some unknown force inside of her, not allowing her to fall further into the abyss_, Natsuki isn't here. Just you and that plain white ceiling above you._

But Shizuru was already well aware of that. Upon her arrival to the academy, the kaichou had been swarmed with her usual crowd of fan girls. News spread almost instantly that she had been, very temporarily, hospitalized and caused her to be the center of attention by arguably the entire student body. Even the rare few who did not necessarily support her showed an interest in her return.

_All except one..._ Shizuru scoffed and leaned forward, glaring at the screen in order to focus, even if her mind continued to wander.

_Is that going to be my life from now on? 'All except one'?_

The rhythmic sound of rapid keystrokes in the empty room was then broken up by the creak of the sliding door, but nothing more. Crimson eyes blinked and looked up, this person did not even care to knock, but once she met with the emerald irises, it was clear why. Warning was never Natsuki's strong point; although neither was starting conversation but she did it anyway.

"I'm sorry," she stated bluntly, trying to meet the eyes of the other girl who had quickly averted them and went back to work.

"Don't flatter yourself, it was only enough damage to weaken me for two days," Shizuru said with an even drier tone, "But don't you think your apathy was a bit much?"

Natsuki clenched her fist and sharply looked away, clearly shamed by the comment. However, before she could continue confessing her misgivings, she was stunned by an even harsher tone.

"Ah, but it's true, we were not friends so I should not have expected you to care about my return."

"Don't say that!" Natsuki retorted, "That's why I'm here, to tell you how sorry I am for what I did."

"Oh?" intrigued as she may have been, Shizuru forcefully kept her heart from fluttering about.

"I was scared, stupid and scared. I had no right to reject you the way that I did. Shizuru, we have always been friends, and I won't let that change, we're going to continue being friends!" Natsuki looked into the once-familiar eyes, trying not to be fazed by energy coming from them as she continued speaking, "I... I still can't love you the way that you love me but... but I do still want us to be friends. We still are, aren't we?"

Silenced reigned over the two for some of the longest seconds of Natsuki's life, only to be broken by the sound of Shizuru getting out of her seat and placing her hands on the desk. With a scoff, her scornful eyes met with jade once more.

"Do you really think that you have the right to simply declare us friends again after what you've done?"

Her tone silenced any reply Natsuki may have come up with and allowed her to continue speaking uninterrupted.

"Much of what I have done for you has been out of love, the love which you rejected. If you do not want it, then you will not get it, one of those things being your ability to command me. You no longer have that ability Natsuki."

"...Ah-"

"You have hurt me more than anyone ever has. Of all my family, friends, authority figures... anyone, you were the only one I truly thought would never hurt me. Not merely because it was 'of benefit to you' not to do so, or because you would have something to gain from my being happy... but because you just wouldn't. I felt safe with you and I couldn't help it. I trusted you unconditionally, and didn't realize that it was a mistake until it was too late."

"Shizuru... I-"

"Which is why," she cut off again, "I will not be handing it out again to anyone anytime soon. Thankfully you have taught me something important, reminded me of how precious trust is, and I will not be as foolish as I have been. If you want to be friends, you are going to have to earn it."

The firm declaration shook the younger girl, feeling a fraction of the pain she had dealt come back to her and further exacerbating her guilt. She took it all though, every bit of those words. Natsuki knew she had been the one to deal the first blow in this fight, and in her fearful state her instinct to run had her lash out repeatedly against her friend. The final counter was only a breath away.

"_You_ are going to get_ me_ back. Not the other way around."

With her built up frustrations finally vented in a clear and concise manner, the kaichou sat back down and went back to her work, or at least pretended to. At the very least she would not _appear_ weak in front of Natsuki. As she said, the girl rejected the special treatment that came from being loved by her, and would not be allowed to see beyond that mask of fortitude. The sound of a hurt gasp and footsteps leaving the room in a hurry could not break Shizuru's heart further.

-0-

_It had to be done..._ Shizuru told herself, now a week after the sunset of her discontent,_ I couldn't leave that hole in my heart open, waiting for her to put the piece back into place. No... I needed a whole new heart, even if it took me being the one to destroy my previous one._

The girl sat at her desk at the front of the classroom, absentmindedly twirling her pen between her fingers while listening to the lecture. That was actually the first time in a few days that her thoughts traveled back to her 'rejection' of Natsuki, and in fact she hadn't seen the girl since.

_Probably skipping..._ she mentally noted. Not that she cared too much. It wasn't that she couldn't be bothered, but that she couldn't let her focus fade from her own work. She was going to be graduating soon and placed upon herself the goal of ranking highest on the exit exams from high school. Shizuru smirked to herself under the guise of a mumble of appreciation for the subject being taught. She had no doubt in her mind that she would achieve that goal either. With the Fuuka Academy intranet she could access the grades of all the students, and in her year she was leading by a comfortable gap in the scores.

Shizuru was also happier, as noticed by those around her. Her breakdown and the many (mostly false) rumours surrounding it were already gone and it appeared that she was at her best. And although she hadn't realized it due to the lack of contact, Natsuki had also been one to see the effect their distance had. Skipping or not, the latter had friends in the school who inevitably passed her the information.

The bell rang, and after the proper formalities it was time to meet up with the other three council members. Uncharacteristically, Shizuru was first to get to the meeting, beating Haruka by a solid minute and nearly scaring the blonde by her mere presence in the room when she opened the door.

"What the hell? Since when are you on time?" Haruka asked with a raised eyebrow and sitting down into one of the less ornate chairs at the center of the room.

"I figured that with graduation coming up the newly elected members will be looking up to us now more than ever, so I should set a proper example."

"Hmph, better late than never I guess for you to get some sense of the job... even if there are only three weeks left for it to matter."

"Hm," Shizuru quietly nodded, reflecting on the words for a second,_ Better late than never to get some sense? Wow, we actually agree on something._

"I guess it helps that you're not as distracted anymore," the executive director added, "Where is the delinquent anyway? Didn't you make it your responsibility that she gets to school on time and whatever?"

"Heh, but as you said: I've come to my senses," Shizuru had been reluctant to let Haruka get even a bit of victory, but when she was right, she was right, "Natsuki has never been _mine_, in any sense of the word. She could have been a truant this whole time if she wanted to."

_Everything has reverted to the way it was before we met,_ Shizuru thought with a sense of peace that was growing easier to accept, _It's like I'm getting the chance to start over without ever having been in love with her. If I remain alone, this new heart that grows back to replace my old one will be completely untainted. Mine to do with as I please. Under my control._

It was then that the thought she had been searching for finally struck her. It was bound to appear sometime, the seed borne of her mind's assessment of her current state. Shizuru leaned back, sitting quietly with a satisfied smile.

_I am better without Natsuki,_ she finally admitted to herself, _She is not needed to complete me. She does not complete me. Only I can complete _me_ if I am going to be an independent individual, I cannot depend on others. Loving oneself is the only way to surely be loved. Loving others... is inefficient..._

-0-

It was a brand new day in the eyes of Fuuka Academy's seitokaichou. Shizuru woke up just a few minutes before her alarm would sound, well rested and ready to get on with things. After her typical morning ritual - albeit with a few minor indulgences such as sweetening her tea and allowing herself some more time to enjoy the warmth of her shower - Shizuru emerged from her dorm room adequately prepared.

She would make the best of her remaining weeks at her beloved high school, even if she was responsible for quite a bit of work. This morning in particular was an example of it; she had to meet with the rest of the council before classes had even begun simply because they lacked any other time. Shizuru looked at the clock on the wall as she passed through the hallway, mentally noting her apparent lateness.

_Oh well, I got up this early for the meeting, the least I could get in return is a few minutes extra to get ready at my own pace._

Although she was already late, Shizuru displayed a surprising lack of effort at avoiding the trio of girls approaching from the opposite end, eventually meeting her right by the office door. The three younger students had all begun to swoon over their favourite upperclassman. Instead of politely brushing them off though, Shizuru let their compliments wash over her, listening to them praise her efforts as a student and kaichou, as well as brazen flattery of her appearance.

"Ah, well, I do work hard," she told them with a smile, but said little more since the mere sound of her voice had sent the girls into fits of squeaking sounds before they headed down to the dining hall presumably for breakfast, leaving Shizuru with a big grin on her face as she entered the room to meet her colleagues.

"Where the hell have you been!" barked the usual suspect of such loud noises, followed by a huff.

"I was just chatting with some students, no need to be so upset," Shizuru replied to Haruka casually whilst taking her seat at the head of the room.

"Still, you call us all here at this ungodly hour and then show up late?" the blonde sighed, "I guess you being early yesterday was a one-time thing."

"Am I not allowed to take a break every once and a while?" the tone reverberated something more than their usual banter, accenting the more serious voice that followed, "I am Kaichou after all, and with this school's system that leaves me to do nearly anything I wish, including the right arrive a few minutes late, even if it was to my own meeting."

Haruka's eye twitched, as it normally would have after such a retort, but the other two members present had an air of worry about them. Unlike the executive director, Yukino and Reito were not dense enough to miss the tone beyond the words in Shizuru's voice, and now both shared a similar concern over the sudden arrogance. Whether she was right or wrong, the girl would always keep her words reserved and polite,_ particularly_ as a taunt to Haruka.

"Damn you..." the blonde grimaced, clenching her fist, "Fine! Whatever! Be cheap and pull rank if that's all you want to do in order to get out of your mistakes instead of actually taking responsibility."

The male of the group expelled a sigh while the mousy girl opened her laptop and pulled on Haruka's shoulder.

"Really, Haruka-chan, just let it go..."

And although said girl was falling into the normal pattern of things, calmed by her younger friend and taking her seat, it was Shizuru who forced in the final jab.

"I earned this rank and won the election by a landslide in case you've forgotten. I see no shame in using all the benefits of it either. Now," before anyone else could dare comment, "Let's begin."

-0-

"I knew I'd find you if I looked hard enough," came the familiar voice of the biker girl's redheaded friend.

"Hey Mai," Natsuki said, turning her head slightly. She was sitting on the ground, leaning back against her motorbike the was parked in her usual place in the forest. Although it was lunch time for the students, she had only just arrived.

"Why haven't you shown up to class? Have you just been sitting out here all day?" the girl plopped herself down on the ground next to her friend.

"Pfft, yeah right. I have a life Mai. I planned on coming today but... nah, didn't feel like it. Then I thought I would show up for the afternoon."

"You're pretty down over this whole thing aren't you? Even Fujino-san is up and about, but here you are sulking in the woods," Mai chuckled for a second until she saw that her joke was not well received.

"Yeah... because I'm not there..." Natsuki looked out ahead, "I hurt her so badly... And it may be selfish of me to 'sulk out here in the woods' but it's what she deserves from me. I have to earn her back, and right now I don't know how to do that so I'm not going to show up and make an even bigger ass of myself."

"I suppose, but Natsuki, you have to remember that very little of this was in your control."

"Hm?"

"You couldn't force yourself to love her, and it would have been wrong of you to say you loved her if you didn't... so it was only a matter of time before you ended up rejecting her."

"... I guess so," Natsuki sighed.

-0-

The day had passed by quickly for practically everyone except Shizuru. Granted she had started earlier than most, but the repeated arguments between Haruka and herself ended up sticking with her throughout her classes. With a relieved sigh, the girl opened the room to her dorm, tossed her bag to the side of the room, and quickly shut it behind her.

_Agh... I could have come up with so many better comebacks, why didn't I think of them then?_ She berated herself, replaying the conversations as she headed into the kitchenette to prepare her tea.

_At least I said _something_, I never bothered to really put Haruka in her place before..._

She smirked.

_Ah yes, 'before'... That time which I can see so clearly no. Hindsight really is a wonderful thing. I never knew how much of myself I was giving to Natsuki... _

"Until I got it back."

Shizuru startled at the voice, for it had not come from her... so to speak. The girl turned swiftly, backed against the kitchen counter and staring at the very suspicious figure that had instantly appeared.

Sitting comfortably in the larger of two chairs situated in Shizuru's ample sized dormitory living room was... herself? Indeed, with her feet casually resting on the coffee table and arms folded behind her head was an identical form of the herself, save for a few details that could not be seen from the distance between them. Also, she was not wearing a uniform but rather jeans and a dark toned blouse.

"Heh, great, now I'm seeing things," the high-schooler mumbled as she swatted her forehead and opted to take a short walk around her space.

"Ara, you think I'm a figment of your imagination?" the being in the chair asked, raising an eyebrow in a mix of a pout and confusion.

"Well of course, what else would you be? Besides you look just-" Shizuru glanced over to see 'herself' stand up and take a few steps toward her. Frightened to say the least, she stood still waiting to see if it, or rather _she_, would do anything more. However after several blinks she had not vanished.

"Like you?" the other Shizuru finished, closing the gap between them with a wily grin, calculating her steps to corner the other girl in the entryway. Soon there was nowhere left to walk, and the more aggressive of the two finally had the latter pinned against the door.

It was in this closeness that Shizuru noticed that they were not entirely identical, and that this version of herself was actually older, one she could not have remembered from her past either. There was a minor difference in height, as well as a slightly more muscular body, but not by any means bulky.

_But those eyes..._ Shizuru was caught by the ruby pools, finding her heart beating faster from the energy that radiated from them. She couldn't think straight, only hearing breaths between the two of them.

"...Where did you come fr-mm!" before she could finish, Shizuru's breath was taken from her in a passionate kiss. The elder self had closed her eyes, while the younger remained stiffly blinking at what was happening. She was so sure that she had been hallucinating, which would be its own problem.

_... But this kiss... _she felt her eyelids begin to relax, although just as quickly they were jolted open again by the crimson before her.

"I am Viola," the other Shizuru whispered in a husky tone after pulling only away just enough to speak, their lips still grazing against each other, "And I am very real."

And the two joined in a kiss once more.

-0-

A/N: A few notes I can say now that it won't spoil. Whether Viola exists or not is up to your own imaginations. That being said, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not have hallucinations as part of that condition. So on one hand you can see "fantasy" as Viola appearing from the magic wish at the ribbon place, or "fantasy" as Shizuru's mind inventing her and me, as the author, exaggerating the disorder. That's as far as I'm going to discuss this, the story can really go either way.


	2. Personality

A/N: As you can guess by the titles and this being a three chapter long story, this will be the meat of the story with the "personality" of the characters beyond last chapter's narcissism. And it shall, of course, be followed by "Disorder" -grin-

And yes, this be a Fujino X Viola~ -wink- Now let's all put on Obsession by Innerpartysystem and enjoy the opening of the second chapter! Undisclosed Desires by Muse also works nicely XD.

**Thanks to the readers and reviewers! I'm glad this story is being liked haha! And thanks to little-firebird from MU for beta-ing~**

**II – Personality**

She couldn't let go. No matter how her superego called for sanity, Shizuru wouldn't listen. The girl remained pressed against her door, her palms firmly planted on it in a weak attempt at resistance to the kiss she was consumed by.

"Can't believe how hot you're getting, Fujino?" Viola asked with mischievous eyes, lowering her lips down to her younger self's neck.

The response she got was more than enough to satisfy her. No words, just a warm exhale of breath accompanied by a shudder of pleasure, followed by a sharp inhale to catch her breath and keep from fainting.

"Ah- This..." Shizuru muttered, reaching up to the woman's arm and softly pushing it away, "I've lost my mind..."

"Hm?" The other set of ruby eyes glanced up to meet their counterparts, even with Viola's head resting by her neck. She then stood up straight and accepted the (temporary) gap made between them, folding her arms over each other at waist-level.

"You still think this is a dream or something?" She chuckled.

"Even though you're conversing with me?"

"That's something else altogether... If you _are_ real, then... Where did you come from? Why are you here...?"

"Because you wished for me," Viola's smirk radiated an aura of power mixed with victory, taking pride in the matter of fact way that she cut through Shizuru's confusion. Although judging by the wide, blinking eyes, it seemed to only prompt more questions.

With a sigh, as it seemed they would not get back to being physical until this was cleared up, the elder of the two turned back to the living room and proceeded to drop her body on the furniture in her laid-back demeanour. Shizuru on the other hand, was frozen in place at the far end of the hallway until she was beckoned to step closer. Her feet moved tentatively as her eyes locked on the hand that was tapping the empty space on the two-person sofa. Although she was still reluctant to take all of this in, now that her head was cleared from the kissing, Shizuru sat down next to 'herself' in a poised manner.

"Do you remember a week or so ago?" Viola arched her neck back to look at the ceiling as she draped her arms over the back of the couch, one arm of course being close enough to embrace Shizuru. The latter took little note of it though, and instead responded with a solemn nod.

"Well, you wished for love. The strongest form of love. And that'd be me."

"But... I, what?" The idea was, understandably, hard to grasp for the poor girl. While she always thought it would be fun or interesting if some kind of fate, magic, whatever, truly existed... having it happen right before her eyes was something she had no idea of how to handle. If that was what it was anyway; there was still her skeptical side that insisted this was nothing more than a very vivid hallucination.

"Wishes do come true sometimes you know, but well, you know the old saying: Be careful what you wish for," Viola caught sight of the worried glance sent to her.

"Ha, don't worry, I'm not evil or anything... unless you are, since I'm you, but what I mean is I know that this wasn't what you had in mind when you wished."

"Wishes... are silly," Shizuru sighed and looked away sadly, remembering that afternoon and the pain that followed.

"Aww, don't say that," she reached her hand over to pet the back of the girl's hair, lightly comforting the thoughts she was well aware of.

"It was still your wish, and it was granted... so it has to be good, don't you think?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Well, you wanted someone to love you in the strongest possible way, but the love you have inside of you is unrivalled. The strongest love comes from you, and you are the only one strong enough to handle the force of it."

Shizuru continued to stare ahead, although the sadness had vanished from her face upon feeling the touch. Now her focus was on careful consideration of the words.

_The reason Natsuki rejected me was because she wasn't strong enough then...? I struck her too hard, so she escaped injured... that's what happened._

"She was too weak to handle it, yeah," Viola added, not that she could directly read the girl's thoughts, but she had the most educated of guesses.

"But you've already realized it, haven't you? What happens to you when you love someone else."

Shizuru chuckled and placed a palm to her forehead.

"Yes, and I suppose I should have known earlier that I was the only one who could handle being loved by me. It was too powerful for my own good."

"Exactly. Love is like a weapon, and yours just happens to be this massive iron sword that no one can wield but you. And that's where I come in," she grinned.

"How much are we the same?" Shizuru asked, "You look like me, but even then you're a few years older. And your name isn't even the same."

"Silly," she smirked and patted the top of the girl's head again, "my name is Shizuru Viola, I just called myself by my last name to make things less confusing. You can call me Shizuru if you want though."

"Eh," she thought it over, in truth not being fully ready to admit that this person was in fact herself; it was easier to think of her as a separate person if they had different names, "Viola is just fine."

"Fair enough, but..." the woman's voice returned to its sultry state, "you see what I'm getting at right?"

As had been explained, Shizuru was not frightened by Viola's gaze, able to not only withstand but enjoy the force of those eyes.

"You can love someone as much as you want... but it's all meaningless unless they love you back. What matters is being loved."

Shizuru could feel her body grow heavier, sinking into herself further as Viola began to close the distance between them. The woman's body was not much larger than hers, but it fit the dominant role better than a teenager's. Viola's arm held the younger girl's back as they started to lie down together on the sofa, their eyes never separating.

"And I am the one who loves you," she finished, looking down on her younger self for a brief moment before initiating yet another kiss between them.

Unlike before, Viola's movements were slower. Just as strong, but slower. Anticipating Shizuru's nervousness, she knew better than to tease her like she had before. This was not playful like her greeting; it was a serious bond growing between them. And being the younger girl's copy, she held loyalty to true love just as close to her heart.

Beneath her, the brunette's eyes closed almost instantly, relaxing into the warmth of herself. How could she possibly be uncomfortable? She was not alone, yet she was the only one present; truly the work of magic, she was beginning to believe. The soft lips moved in rhythmic motions against the similar set, and soon felt herself reaching both arms around Viola's back to embrace her tightly. Something about this feeling in her chest felt so familiar.

_I'm reaching out to her uncontrollably... I feel safe with her, and I can't help but not... This is..._

Shizuru's tongue gently slid its way between her teeth, starting to lick at Viola's lips for permission to enter.

_This is the unconditional trust... Am I...?_

Viola allowed, _welcomed_, Fujino licking the inside of her mouth. The girl, of course, knew all of her sweet spots and weaknesses; of the one in her mouth being the area right behind her upper incisors. The girl on top couldn't hold back her moaning from being massaged there, and soon returned the favour in hopes of hearing the same sounds. She was happily rewarded not only by that, but by a hand roaming up to comb through her tawny locks.

It was time to move closer. The elder Shizuru eased the pressure on her elbows to completely rest on her counterpart's body, glad that it didn't seem to bother her too much, and brought both of her arms up behind the girl's shoulders to massage the muscles there. Originally, Viola intended to keep her focus on this part of Shizuru, but a few minutes later she felt something brush up against the side of her hip.

Shizuru was once again moving on emotion alone, her left leg bending up to be more accommodating to the lower halves of their bodies resting against each other. The tension and release sensations that she was feeling in her lips and heart had now made waves all the way down her spine. Her sense of touch was amplified everywhere. No one had ever made her feel this good.

_No... this has always required another person... and no one could love me,_ Shizuru inhaled sharply as Viola's lips pulled back to plant butterfly kisses along her neck _... but me_

She had made her conclusion somewhere inside, nodding in agreement with her thoughts as she moved with awareness now. The leg that had already been lifted was wrapped around the taller girl's waist to press their pelvises together, and it was soon followed by her right leg to secure their position as her breath hitched once more from a loving nip along her collarbone.

_Am I...?_ She asked again, her cheeks flushed red as Viola took the hint and started rocking back and forth in a grinding motion.

_I am, aren't I? Because she is the one who loves me... that means I already know..._

"I love... _you_," Shizuru expelled through a loud, husky moan, her eyes glistening as all thoughts of anyone else left her mind. Only two existed now, Fujino Shizuru and Shizuru Viola... They were one.

This confession was all that the latter needed to keep going. Taking her hands away from the younger girl's head and once again using one to lift her torso just a touch. She was still held in place by the hands that were now passionately groping at her back, finding their way beneath the blouse and starting to make soft scratches along the skin.

"Don't worry," Viola whispered, her teeth grazing Shizuru's neckline until reaching the small tie of her uniform. In a matter of seconds it was undone and fell where it may, exposing the opening to even more of her chest, "I'm not going anywhere."

With a sly grin on her face, Viola's other hand slid its way up the outside of the girl's thigh, not stopping until she could feel the soft cotton beneath her skirt. She was definitely enjoying this. The feeling of being both needed and wanted was - as expected - a mirrored emotion of the one under her. They were both unbearably hot now, and the elder of the two was not about to let it ruin the mood. Breathing in, she leaned back swiftly, using the arms beneath her shirt to help in pulling off the garment. That same smile was still gracing her features, but with a slightly tamer essence, one of playful appreciation. And although the look in the younger Shizuru's eyes lusted for more instant gratification from the hold, Viola could tell that by being beneath her, the heat had affected her worse.

With one shirt tossed aside, it was time for the other. Kneeling between Shizuru's legs, Viola gripped tightly around the girl's midriff and lifted her so that she was now straddling her lap - which also put her a few inches taller for the moment.

Feeling the high from a temporary shift in control, and the physical head rush from sitting up that fast, Shizuru quickly undid the buttons of her uniform that had not yet been tended to by her older counterpart. Viola was holding her steady by her hips, and while they had resumed kissing Shizuru slipped her arms out of their sleeves and tossed the top behind her on the couch. Her arms draped around Viola's neck and shoulder, pressing their ample busts into each other.

Viola's fingers started to return the treatment she had gotten earlier, well aware of her younger self's secret pleasure in a little rough love. Grazing the porcelain skin with her nails and leaving some redness behind -not that one could tell at the moment; the girl was blushing from head to toe. Things were moving faster as a whole now though - even their breaths had increased in speed as the need for one another intensified. Their kisses were not long and deep, but short and interspersed with heated licks and gasps for air. Viola wrapped up Shizuru from behind her shoulders, although this time she slid her hands beneath the younger girl's bra straps and hastily tugged on them off as far as they would go with the arms still embracing her neck.

Luckily, Shizuru was just as willing as her older counterpart and followed with the proper actions to free herself of the garment, being as quick as possible to not lose any time with Viola. It was thrown in the growing pile of their combined clothes and the younger girl inhaled a sharp breath when the sudden cool air on her skin was replaced with the warmth of an exploring tongue. Shizuru's chest rose and fell with her panting and one hand was left to comb through Viola's hair and then hold tight to the back of her head, assuring that she would continue this attention. The other hand first made its way around the latter's back to keep their torsos stabilized but soon found a new task in unhooking the older girl's bra to once again bring them to the same level. Viola's head tilted up -though still held in place by the hand- and she showed of her gratified grin.

_For too long have I remained hiding in the darkness. This freedom... I will not take it for granted._

The pair of hands that were holding Shizuru upright by her back slipped down to the girl's thighs, and to prevent herself from slipping she resorted to pulling them together in an embrace. This was exactly what Viola wanted. Heated by the passion between them, the elder Shizuru lifted the younger with her as she stood, carrying her over to the other side of the room where she pressed her against the wall. Kissing all the while, Shizuru had her legs wrapped around Viola's hips and her arms around her neck, clinging tightly to make sure she didn't fall. Viola had taken her hold away in order to undo her jeans and push them down as long as her attention span would allow. It wasn't long, but enough to make sure that now they would both get pleasure from the slow, but intense, hip movements.

As much as she always thought herself to be dominant, Shizuru was enjoying being taken like this. Forceful as it may have seemed, she could feel the love in every stroke, which she realized was exactly what Viola had described earlier. This all-consuming love: Not only was she finally able to receive it, but she was giving it as well. Everything she had kept inside all these years to remain reserved and cautious was pouring out and was taking her back.

Before she knew it, Shizuru's legs slipped down, now bearing her own weight, and Viola was slowly guiding her backwards into the bedroom. It was tidy as usual, leaving nothing for them to possibly trip on along the way to where they would reach the climax of their meeting. Being pushed gently, Shizuru allowed her knees to bend over the edge of the bed and fall backward, half expecting 'herself' to follow immediately. However, what she got instead was a better idea - for which she mentally thanked Viola.

Her skirt and underwear now stripped from her, Shizuru was left completely at the mercy of her other self. But what a kind self she was. The woman was knelt comfortably between the pair of writhing legs, her mouth now focused on the set of lips that had been aching for touch for quite some time. Waves of arousal ran through her core in rhythm with the flicking of Viola's tongue. Her head rolled back and forth and her eyes were tightly shut, visions of none other than her other half flooding her brain. Memories from only minutes earlier were coming back full force now, sporadic and chaotic. Her mental control was slipping from her grasp, and soon, pure euphoria took over.

A loud moan echoed through the room and Viola increased her pace, both seeing and feeling Shizuru's body clench and release. She was gripping the sheets with all her might, even as the feeling began to subside and she was left to feel the sweat roll down her forehead. The sensation lingered in her now limp body as Viola seemed to tower over her again with that same look in her eyes. A look that radiated more than love: a fighting love. _Her_ love.

"Eh?" Shizuru muttered, her glazed eyes snapping back to reality to see Viola chuckling to herself.

"So cute, all tired out like that," she smiled and flopped down on her side, now gently pulling Shizuru closer into a more cuddly hold.

"I suppose I shouldn't have abused my knowledge of your most sensitive spots the first time."

A light kiss was placed on her forehead, and Shizuru gave into her returning exhaustion. The topless Viola acted as a very comfortable and soothing pillow, one that even stroked her hair as she fell asleep.

_You _must _be real..._

-0-

Three days had passed since Viola's entrance into Shizuru's life, three of the most amazing days of the girl's young life. She was glowing, positively enthralled in her newfound companion: herself. The kaichou had abandoned her position once more, choosing to spend the recent time gallivanting about her room with Viola. Food was stocked, her drinks usually reserved for guests had been broken out, and clothing was optional. And never in so long had Shizuru donned such a genuine expression of happiness on her face.

"Viola," she sighed, feeling the arms snake around her waist and the kisses along her neck, "I actually do have to go today."

Shizuru continued to prepare her food for the day, slowly sinking into the hold and letting her eyes close for a second before snapping back into reality. She chuckled and shook her head, sighing reluctantly again and stepping away from the woman behind her.

"I know," Viola moaned, folding her arms over her stomach to replace the missing warmth, "I want you to graduate after all..."

Shizuru looked back over her shoulder when she reached the door, smiling back into the identical ruby eyes.

"I'll miss you," she assured.

"Heh, get to class," Viola smirked, blowing her a kiss from the kitchen where she had hopped up to sit on the edge of the counter, legs folded over one another.

After returning the symbol of affection, Shizuru took her leave, and for the first time since she set sights on her, Viola disappeared. The comforting smile stayed with the girl all through her morning classes though; it didn't feel like she was alone.

_Viola will always be with me..._ _since she is me_, she giggled a little at the thought.

_To think she was right, I love her... and she loves me. We mirror each other._

Every time Shizuru would summon her concentration for the coursework at hand, Viola appeared again. It wasn't enough to be detrimental, but it was like the phantom presence of her other half was intent of tickling her mind with images and memories of the time they had spent together, followed by new fantasies of what they would do when she got home.

_I know you're waiting for me. I'm waiting for you, too..._

The lunch bell rang and Shizuru packed up her textbooks and proceeded to make her way to the student council room. She was sure Haruka would be waiting for her, fuming over another disappearance, but not even that could ruin this day. Shizuru had reminded her of her position earlier, she would do it again if necessary, her emotions still running on the high.

When she arrived, however, there was only one person waiting for her - and not whom she had expected.

"...Natsuki?"

The smaller girl was backed against the far wall next to the open window, the gentle breeze lifting the curtain alone with her navy hair. Although her arms were folded over her chest, her demeanour was not one of confrontation. In fact, she appeared rather submissive with the way her eyes kept darting around uneasily. Nevertheless, her name had been called and she looked up slowly to meet Shizuru's confused gaze.

"Hi..." she opened with, unsure of where to begin.

Shizuru had no intention of making this awkward, and so instead of dramatically waiting in the doorway for any more of a response, she let out a half hearted sigh and walked towards her desk where she began setting up her laptop. It was an act that she knew would entice the girl to speak further. Natsuki tensed and kicked off the wall to make her way to her old friend, where she now stood nervously in front of the desk.

"I noticed you disappeared again..." Natsuki looked a bit worried, "Are you okay?"

"Hm?" The older girl looked up from the screen and into the emerald irises with a rather neutral expression.

_A sea green..._

"Oh, I'm fine," a smile graced her features as another vision flickered through her mind.

_A crimson flame..._

"No... I'm better than fine," she chuckled.

"Unlike my last absence, this was definitely a pleasant and much needed vacation."

"I see... Alright then," Natsuki was relieved. She didn't want Shizuru to be upset anymore, and she just wanted this to be over. And with the latter as happy as it seemed she was, Natsuki could be confident in her next request.

"Can we have lunch together sometime this week?"

The clicking sounds from Shizuru's typing came to a sudden halt, and for a second it made Natsuki nervous. However, instead of anger or frustration, the tension was replaced with a peace the two hadn't felt in weeks.

"Certainly," the chestnut head tilted to the side and offered a neutral smile. Shizuru still had difficult expressing her emotions, as she always had, but in her right mind she agreed with Natsuki's way of thinking.

"As friends," the younger girl added, making sure the point of her request was understood.

"Mm," Shizuru nodded, and then followed with a deep breath and relaxed posture.

"Natsuki, I no longer hold anger towards you," she spoke clearly, as a friend, "I merely wanted to be alone. And during that time I-"

_Somehow..._ She paused, recalling the first time she was faced with 'herself'.

"-I realized that I do not... 'require' you to sustain me. Or anyone else for that matter, I am perfectly content alone."

"Eh? But Shizuru-!" Natsuki was now leaning with her palms on the desk. In truth, she wanted to protest; [not needed] and to remind Shizuru of her own younger self who remained isolated for so long. However, after minimal consideration she decided against it and stood back up in a less edgy stance.

_Mm... If she's happy - for whatever reason- I have no right to keep her from it. After what I did... After hurting her, I have to be happy for her._

"Yes?"

"Nothing," Natsuki shook her head, "I'm happy for you. And I'm glad that we can talk again."

"Hm," Shizuru hummed contentedly, "I am too."

But the younger girl's eyes did not deceive her. Ever since that day, Shizuru was different. Natsuki may not have been able to put her finger on whatever it was, but this was not the same Shizuru she had been friends with. It was not the same Shizuru who loved _her_.

-0-

Shizuru let out a sigh of relief and unlocked the first door of her residence building. While it had been endurable for a number of reasons and distractions, she was glad that her first day without Viola after so long of being only with her was finally over. It had been a long one too. With her recent slew of absences and graduation, she would be forced into regular lunch and after school meetings.

_I'll see how much the Executive Committee can take care of..._ she pondered while entering the elevator.

A moment later the doors opened again and she was on the top floor where the rest of her grade was roomed. Hers was the only suite though, and situated at the far end of the hall. Never had that place looked so inviting than now, knowing that someone was there waiting for her.

"I'm home," she announced, stepping inside and shutting the door quickly behind her.

After the few seconds of hanging up her bag and removing her shoes, Shizuru looked down out of the entryway and into the living room that had been rearranged. There were two plates of food set up on the table which was surrounded by comfortable pillows. The girl blinked at the sight for a moment, visibly blushing if anyone would care to point out, and then looked around.

"Viola?" there was only silence, which forced her heart to begin beating faster, "Viola?"

Shizuru's panicked eyes darted to the side only once before she was suddenly embraced from behind. She could tell immediately who it was, if anything by the way she had instinctively calmed upon the touch.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you," came the throaty whisper.

"Mm," the smaller brunette let out a deep breath and reached a hand back to cup Viola's face, "you just startled me is all."

"Heh," Viola chuckled and arched her neck slightly to accommodate the way she was slowly turning her younger counterpart in order to bring them together in a kiss.

"What is all this?" Shizuru asked after pulling away, the kiss was only a brief greeting after all, and her focus was again on the dinner prepared for them.

"I wanted just wanted to have something ready for you because I knew you would be late."

"How sweet," Shizuru cooed, gently teasing Viola as her hand was taken and led over to where they were to sit. Viola merely rolled her eyes at the comment and laughed, finding the smile she caught a glimpse of too adorable to counteract.

Now comfortably sitting, both Shizuru and Viola looked down at their plates of a typical vegetable stir-fry with rice. The latter of who seemed to be staring with a puppy dog-eyed look, waiting in anticipation for the reaction and hoping her efforts would be well received. She rubbed the back of her head.

"Sorry it's so basic... you know we aren't the greatest of cooks you and I, haha..." her laughter trailed off when her expression lit up happily at the girl's reply.

"Very tasty," Shizuru said, taking another bite and mulling over any more possibly commentaries. She tilted her head sheepishly.

"It's a bit cold though."

-0-

A/N: To quote one of AngeSinistre's author's notes, "Friends don't let their virgin friends write sex scenes." .

And I was told I'd be receiving some more Umineko-related comments after this chapter so I figure I should let everyone who I haven't read, seen, or played it haha. So I really don't know what is similar and what isn't XD.

_Little-firebird's Omake Theatre: Viola 'exists'_

"When did you all stop thinking!" Emerald eyes blazed, staring down every other pair they came into contact with. "'Viola' was the cause of all this? Don't make me laugh! Everyone knows Otome don't exist!"

"Mou, but Viola 'exists'." The single crimson-eyed girl merely pouted back as the other occupants of the room all glanced morosely at some point behind Natsuki. A sly smirk replaced the pout on Shizuru's face as she turned her own gaze to the same area behind the raven-haired girl. "She's right behind you, you know."

"Heh, y-you gotta be kidding me…" Natsuki shakily turned to face the growing presence behind her and immediately froze as she saw Shizuru saunter past her to stand next to…an older version of herself. Even more shocking were the knowing glances they gave each other before sharing a languid kiss.

"See, Natsuki? She 'exists'."

"Oh…shit."


	3. Disorder

A/N: OMG I WROTE!

Thanks to RevalisPyross for beta-ing... multiple times XD

**Chapter 3: Disorder**

The seitoukaichou comfortably flipped through a stack of papers handed to her by the secretary. Yukino had been a bit shyer as of late, what with Shizuru's odd mood swings, but was surprised when she was met with a smile for the older girl. The brunette smiled back, if anything out of habit, and quickly rushed to her seat on the off chance it was a sarcastic expression.

Haruka on the other hand was of course more obvious in her observations. She sat back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest and foot tapping as she visibly stared Shizuru up and down for signs of her intentions.

"Ara…?" crimson eyes blinked as they met with terse violet ones.

"I wonder this all the time… but seriously, did you fall down and hit your head?"

"Haruka… don't start…" Reito sighed, hoping that at least once this week they would stop a fight before it became too serious.

"Ahaha no no Haruka, I haven't. At least not to my recollection," she jokingly brought a finger to her lips and looked to the ceiling, earning odd glances all around. However, in the interest of not rocking the boat no one outright commented.

"I'm just pleased with the progress we've been making in regards to training our successors and all things related to graduation. About a week to tie up loose ends, and if we finish early we can have a bit of a break before all the pressure is on us."

"…Kay," the blonde relaxed her posture, leaning her elbows on her desk and staring down at the paper on her desk.

"Damn it Yukino! How am I supposed to read this graduation speech when I can't even say half the words!" she pouted, filling the room with chuckles, as if for a moment it was just like old times.

-0-

Shizuru took a deep breath and stacked her papers in her desk drawer. As usual, though she was late to arrive she would always be the last one to leave. The sun was setting over the pristine landscape of the academy. Ruby orbs glanced out the window and a smile graced the girl's features. Standing and treading slowly over to the source of light, Shizuru's delicate fingers lingered on the smooth wood of her desk.

"A part of me will miss it, yes…" she spoke aloud, glancing back over her shoulder.

_That was Natsuki's spot…_

Shizuru's smile waned for a split second, but of course to rescue her from her sadness was a warm touch to her cheek. The girl let out a gasp of surprise but was immediately turned by that palm to face forward at Viola. Speechless, she couldn't fight the emotional tug in her heart and found herself returning the smile given to her.

"I like it when you're happy," the mature voice spoke, still holding Shizuru's face while closing the gap between them with a kiss.

Humming pleasantly, Shizuru found herself wrapping her arms around Viola's waist. She held on close and continued to make their kiss last. Viola was more than happy to oblige, purring and nibbling on her younger self's bottom lip. Shizuru found her heartbeat racing and pounding so hard throughout all of her extremities.

"Mm, well, you make me happy," she replied, licking at Viola's lips and teeth. Her hands found themselves wandering down to the jean-clad legs, massaging the older girl's hips as she pulled her closer while she stepped back to sit on the edge of the desk. Shizuru carelessly pushed her papers out of her way as their kiss intensified, opening her legs wider to allow for Viola to press herself between them. A shudder of pleasure accompanied a soft moan when the high-schooler felt a palm press hard against her, and just as she was about to bite her own lip, Viola got to it first.

She chuckled playfully, teasing her younger self under her skirt, and slowly rocking her hips in time with her hand. Shizuru's subsequent gasp only fuelled Viola's lust, enticing her to nibble down the girl's neck, sucking and kissing over her collarbone. Her hot breaths touched more and more of Shizuru's skin as her top began being pulled off over her shoulder. Soon enough the buttons were undone in the front and she was able to pull one arm free from its sleeve and grip the back of Viola's neck.

…_That… was Natsuki's spot…_

There was a light thud as Shizuru fell back onto her desk, now completely lost in herself. Viola covered her body completely, rubbing everywhere she could reach and tying her tongue with the girl's. Their bodies moved in perfect rhythm with each other, each consuming herself with vigour. Shizuru's chest rose and fell with each heave, shivering as one of her hands was clasped tight and pinned by her head, knocking over a cup of pencils.

"Oh... Viola…" she breathed.

-0-

Natsuki sighed as she walked through the empty hallway after classes. Her bag was slung over her shoulder and her focus was forward. Determined as she was, her pace was still slow and hesitant; she wasn't the best at bringing up something that would bring conflict, at least not on purpose.

_I suppose I deserved it… I ditched our entire friendship and so Shizuru ditches me for lunch today, doesn't even compare to what I did._

The navy haired girl finally reached the doors of the student council room, cocking her head to the side at the curiously closed door. Her friend usually appreciated the open atmosphere it made for a room that was often filled with tension. She was about to knock when the sound of a soft crash startled her.

_Huh?_

Natsuki pressed her ear to the door, overhearing something she'd never expected to hear.

_Is… Is she…?_

"_Viola… Mmm."_

Jade eyes opened wider.

_Viola? Who's that? I…_ Natsuki stepped back, taking a deep breath and clutching the strap of her bag. She had no idea what to think, her train of thought having stopped dead at the sounds she could hear her friend making. There was no mistaking what was going on in there, but it still shocked her to the core. After all, Natsuki had not once viewed Shizuru that way.

_It… It's frightening…_

-0-

It was lunch period and Shizuru strode down the hallway in a mood even more chipper than her usual poised happiness. To be honest, she was practically giddy. She was in love, new love; a fulfilled love. Her barrage of fangirls felt it even harder to approach her now, whispering to themselves in their little huddle. With a grin on her face, the object of their desire casually approached them, continuing to smile.

"Lovely day isn't it?" the kaichou asked, prompting some uneasy looks from the girls to each other.

"Ah… yes, yes it is…" one spoke, not entirely sure what to say.

"Well, I must be off," Shizuru continued, "I have much work to do with this being the last week of school."

"R-right," another girl mumbled, "Nice speaking to you kaichou-san."

Shizuru then nodded and turned back along the right path to the student council room. This would be the last week would have to set aside lunch hours to work, but then it would all be over. She was looking forward to it, probably more than anyone except her could understand. She used to love being president of the student council, the attention that it got her and even dealing with Haruka's antics and rants, their rivalry… But now it haunted her. Her hand rested lightly on the door handle.

_Heh… I surely made this room mine yesterday,_ she chuckled for second then frowned a little, _But why do I still expect to walk in and see Natsuki waiting for me?_

She sighed and raised her head, attempting to shake the thoughts away: an attempt that would fail in a moment. Shizuru slid the door to the side and there, standing by the window was the icy underclassmen she once adored. The kaichou stood still in the doorway, shocked by the cruel irony placed upon her by this situation. She was happy, she had to remember that. Happy without Natsuki.

"Hello," she greeted politely, alerting the other girl to turn around, "I usually find you sitting at my desk and using my computer."

She tried to make that sound as jesting as possible, but somehow a drop of malice slipped out. Natsuki would be the only one who could have picked up on it, but chose to ignore it for now. Instead she just laughed calmly to herself and tried to work up the courage to ask what she came to ask. By now Shizuru was sitting in her place and busying herself with trivial tasks to avoid the awkward silence that seemed to have swallowed them up.

"So… uhh," the younger girl mumbled, "How have you been?"

"I've been well, thank you Natsuki," came the rather standard reply. And they returned to silence.

"That's good…" she looked away shyly, "You didn't meet me for lunch, so I thought something might be wrong…"

Shizuru blinked and stopped typing, looking up to meet the emerald eyes with an apologetic expression.

"Ah, forgive me Natsuki, I've been very busy so I must have forgotten. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Eh, sure, I guess… But umm, that actually wasn't what I came to talk about."

"Oh?"

"There isn't really a way for this to not be awkward," Natsuki grumbled, "But are you seeing someone? Like, you know… have a girlfriend?"

Shizuru was silent, taken aback by the question and starting to wonder how Natsuki would have even thought of that. Had someone in fact seen her with Viola? Did that mean Viola could possibly be seen by others? She took a breath; this wait was going on too long.

"I know it's none of my business-"

"I am," she said, the mere thought bringing a smile to her lips.

"Oh… Nice then," despite having started this, and already being pretty sure of the answer, Natsuki never thought to think of how she would handle the reply. Lucky for her, Shizuru picked up the conversation.

"Her name is Viola, and she is… hmm, how to describe her?" Shizuru pondered aloud, she then let out a giggle, "I guess you could say she and I have a lot in common. We spend almost every moment together, she lives with me even. She makes me very happy."

_Living together? Already? Maybe they knew each other before…_

"I'm happy for you; you deserve someone who makes you happy."

_We're saying happy too often…_

Shizuru just smiled.

-0-

"So she has a girlfriend? That's good right?" Mai asked, walking down to the entrance of the academy alongside her friend.

"Yeah, it's just… there's something weird about it."

"Are you jealous?"

"What? No," Natsuki gave her a strange look, "Not like that, she's my friend and I'm happy that she has someone else, we can finally have a chance to go back to being friends."

"I didn't mean that, I meant that someone else is taking up her time," Mai suggested, "Romantic or not, you both spent almost all of your time together, being apart for this long has to be stressful. And maybe you're worried it might not go back to how it was before since there's a third person in the picture."

Natsuki frowned. She didn't want to be that person; it was too childish for her. But the more that they walked, the more she pondered how close it was to the truth.

"Heh, maybe you're right… But," her face turned to a mix of both determination and sadness, "That doesn't mean I'm wrong. I know Shizuru better than anyone, and she's keeping something from me, that's for sure."

"So what are you gonna do about it?" the redhead asked just as Natsuki looked up to see a girl approaching from the opposite end of the hallway.

"Ask the person most likely to tell on her."

"Huh?"

Picking up her pace, Natsuki crossed the domed entry, trying to make it in time before the blonde would pass her, and knowing Haruka, she was trying to just for the sake of avoiding the girl.

"Oi, Suzushiro!," the biker called, waving nonchalantly to assure she caught the girl's attention. She was certain she had, with the tired groan overheard and the annoyed look in the violet eyes.

"Yes delinquent? Do you need something?"

"Hey, you know I don't really like talking to you either, but it's important."

Haruka sighed and crossed her arms.

"Well, like it or not, I actually have something important to ask you too. If anyone would know it'd be you, but what's up with Fujino?"

"Eh?" Natsuki blinked, "So you don't know either?"

"Of course not! I'm not you, it's not like she tells me everything!"

"Okay, you go first," tempted as she may have been to figure out the missing piece to this puzzle, she wasn't about to go spilling Shizuru's personal information. Lucky for her, Haruka was about to give her an answer in the anecdote that followed.

"_Okay so there's going to be six rows total?" Yukino asked the room, taking notes of the seating arrangement for the ceremony to come._

"_Yes, three sets of two," Reito confirmed, "but what do you think suits the occasion better: facing towards the academy, or facing towards the gates?"_

"_I don't really ca-" Haruka was cut off by a rather disturbing sound of girlish laughter, muted under the palm of the seitoukaichou._

"_Mou… stop it," Shizuru whined under her breath at the tingling sensation brought about by a phantom hand running up her thigh._

"_Erm… Like I said I don't really care," the blonde finished, trying to simply forget about whatever that may have been, "I've been too busy arranging the rain day plans for having it inside, so it's up to you if- Okay what are you doing?"_

"_Hm?" Shizuru looked up, mildly flustered and having no idea what the others had been talking about for the past fifteen minutes._

"_Why are you giggling? If you think the idea is stupid just say so!" she huffed._

"_Oh, no, it's fine. I don't particularly care either so if you think that's a good setup go ahead with it," her train of thought was rattled by the nails she felt lightly scratch her leg and she bit her lip._

"_Then quit laughing and help will you!"_

"_Y'you're right," Shizuru took a deep breath, trying to dispel all thoughts that were interfering, but cracked another smile as she muttered to herself, "Ara, I need to control myself."_

"So can you tell me what all that was about?" Haruka asked, despite the clear shock on Natsuki's face, "What?"

"That's it," the biker pressed a palm to her face, "She's lying. That's why it doesn't add up."

"Lying about what?" But before Haruka could get her response, Natsuki was already out the door, "Wait you! Can someone tell me what's going on!"

"Ehh, I guess Natsuki is going to take care of it?" Mai offered weakly, rubbing the back of her head and grinning sheepishly.

-0-

The summer sun warmed the chestnut locks of the young Shizuru, sitting comfortably cradled in the arms of her lover. Viola rested her chin on the girl's shoulder, humming a soft tune and lulling her into a half sleep. The couple had been resting on the couch by the window for an hour now, basking in each other's presence in a state of complete bliss. Nothing could be better than this, this safety of loving and being loved, it was fulfilment.

"I love you," Viola whispered, rubbing her thumb over the back of Shizuru's hand she was holding.

"Mm," the girl mumbled, nuzzling into Viola's neck, "I love you too."

The elder of the two giggled at the tickling sensation and hugged Shizuru tighter, grinning as she squeezed, never wanting to let go. The embrace was returned just as closely, followed by a series of soft kisses up and over Viola's cheek and then settling on her lips.

"I can't believe this," Shizuru whispered, "This perfect feeling… here with you, everything is perfect with you."

Viola smiled, cupped the girl's cheek and gazed into the crimson eyes.

"I was made to love you," she replied, feeling her heart beat faster, "It's why I exist, for you… to love you."

And she pressed their lips together again, holding onto the porcelain face as if it were her everything. Shizuru may have fallen hard for Viola, but the latter was born head over heels for the girl. Her life revolved around making her happy, and she would. They were soul mates. Shizuru knew that from the first night they met, it was a feeling more complete than she could have ever felt with another person.

Just as she began to surrender to the moment, the girl fell forward onto her couch through the empty space that Viola once occupied, having vanished at the sound of knocking at her door.

"Shizuru? Are you home?" it was Natsuki.

"Just a minute," she responded, trying to compose herself while being slightly put off at the interruption. She briefly looked around her room; her smile fading as once again, Viola had gone. It was difficult to accept that someone with such a heavy place in her heart could disappear so easily. Nevertheless, it was just something she would have to deal with, and hopefully this visit would not last too long.

"Why hello Natsuki, it's been a while since you last visited hasn't it?" Shizuru greeted, opening the door and standing in the entryway.

"Yeah, although I was here yesterday…" Natsuki trailed off, she didn't want to seem so accusatory right from the start.

"Can I come in?"

"Certainly," she exaggerated, becoming less thrilled with the longer this appeared it was going to take.

"So, you came to see me yesterday? I'm sure I was home…"

"Yeah, it was after class… but I guess you were busy with student council stuff?"

"Actually I spent yesterday with Viola," Shizuru smiled, but raised an eyebrow at the less enthused look she got back. In fact, Natsuki was more nervous than anything about this, her friendship was already on such shaky ground, but she had to clear the air between them.

"Shizuru… I know you weren't with Viola yesterday," she saw the agitated twitch in Shizuru's gaze, "You… you don't have to lie to me. I'll still be your friend even if you haven't moved on from me."

"I can't say I understand what you're talking about," veiled as her contempt may have been, it slipped through her teeth.

"I don't know why you would say I wasn't with her, because I was. And as for moving on, I love Viola, not you… whether you are still afraid of me or not," she turned away, still hurt deep down by the girl's reaction to her love, "…It's your business."

Natsuki sighed; there was no reason for Shizuru to be putting up such a front unless she felt that their friendship had truly been reduced to nothing. She just had to be out with it.

"Shizuru… I'm sorry. It's okay if you made her up, if you were that hurt that you felt you needed to do that then all I can say is how sorry I am for hurting you that much."

"What?" Shizuru's eyes widened, surprised at the accusation, "I really don't understand Natsuki, are you saying I'm imagining her?"

"Not… imagining, but maybe you thought the only way we could be friends was to have some kind of proof that you didn't love me anymore."

That was the first straw to break.

"I told you before," Shizuru took a deep breath, staring cold into the jade eyes, "Not to flatter yourself."

"That's not what I'm doing, but I know she isn't real. You're forgetting how long we've been friends before this whole mess began. You might be able to fool everyone else with that mask of yours… But not me!"

Another straw crackled under the pressure.

"The point is that I'm not lying. Just because you can't see her, doesn't mean she isn't real. She is real _to me._"

Natsuki was taken aback slightly. Why was this so hard? All the pride in the world wouldn't make Shizuru this stupid to think her ruse was still in place. No, it wasn't in comprehension of Natsuki's understanding… she had just fallen further than the girl thought possible.

"You… you are imagining her, aren't you?"

And the straws went up in flames.

"No! Viola is real! She's just not here right now!" Shizuru panted desperately.

"Then call her," Natsuki held her ground, tossing her friend the nearby phone.

"Viola doesn't have a phone."

"Okay then where is she? You said you two were living together right? So is she out getting groceries or something? Let me meet her."

"She is… Viola is…" Shizuru grit her teeth, clenching her fists, "Viola is more real than you ever were!"

Natsuki froze, taken aback by such a statement. She was about to interject but the elder girl beat her to it.

"You… you broke my heart! And yet you dare question the existence of the one who makes me happy. What is it Natsuki? Are you jealous that I no longer do everything for you? That I don't hold your hand through life?"

"That's out of line! We were friends and you helped me, and I'm grateful for that!"

"Heh… grateful? You ran from me… you ran away!"

"I hurt you? Tell me something I don't know. I did something beyond hurt? I even get that, I just want to help-"

"You can't help, you did this to me! You made me feel this way! You made me love you and then ripped that love from my heart!"

"Yeah, I did! And you have no idea how bad I feel for doing that, but don't change the subject; this girlfriend of yours isn't real!" Natsuki repeated, taking a step forward and reaching out to her frantic friend. A mistake she would come to see quickly. Her arms were quickly raised to defend against a vase that flew at her.

"Viola was there for me!" Shizuru shouted over the ceramic shards falling to the floor, "Get out! Get out of here! I want Viola, not you!"

"Damn it! Get a grip!" Natsuki growled, "She isn't real and you know it! Stop lying to me!"

"She's real! I know it and that's all that matters!" this time she threw a dish of food at the biker, which was knocked away as well, "I don't need your approval, or understanding, or anything! I don't need anything from you anymore!"

"Shizuru…" Natsuki looked sadly into those enraged red eyes, on the brink of tears herself as she felt her resolve waver.

"I don't need you anymore!" she nearly growled, "Get out!"

"…Fine," Natsuki whispered, choking down the hurt and taking a few steps back, "I'm leaving…"

"Get out… get out… go away…" Shizuru continued to mutter, eyes shut tight as the door to her dorm room was closed. Her body shivered with pain and the tears flowed even harder now that she was alone. Falling to her knees, she continued to sob until a pair of gentle arms wrapped around her.

"Don't cry love," Viola spoke softly, embracing Shizuru closer from behind and pulling her close. Weakened by the outburst, the latter let out all of her sadness and fell into the hold. They remained there, sitting on the floor and embracing each other, just waiting for the pain to go away.

"I'm not imagining you! You told me so! We've eaten together, we're holding each other right now, we… we've made love… Nothing in this world could take you from me!"

Viola remained silent; not wanting to create even more hurt, but also had to tell the truth. She didn't want it to be now, but it had to be. Waiting any longer would only make it worse.

"I… can disappear," she spoke quietly.

"What?" Shizuru's eyes darted up into the deeper scarlet ones, "How? Why?"

"It's the magic of your wish that binds me here… You already see it now that if someone else is here, I will not be."

"Then I won't see anyone else again!"

"Even so… It's your thoughts that keep me here… if you stop thinking about me, then I will cease to exist."

Shizuru gripped her tightly, clawing at all she felt fleeing from her.

"Then I won't! I haven't stopped thinking about you, you know that!"

Silence covered them.

"You do know that, don't you Viola?" her eyes pleaded for an explanation but Viola turned away.

"With other people it's fine. But in your heart… I can feel myself fade whenever _she_ comes around. Natsuki is... someone who can take me away from you."

Shizuru looked at her more fiercely, pulling her gaze back.

"I won't let her. If she is trying to take you away from me then I will stop her. She may have been the person dearest to me in the past, but not since I found you. I cannot love Natsuki, it brings nothing but pain… But with you, I've never been happier."

"So are you saying that you would give up the thought of happiness with Natsuki in exchange for the happiness you already have with me?"

"… Yes."

-0-

It was graduation day at Fuuka Academy, finally it was here. The third year students were all gathered at the front of the auditorium ready to be honoured. Haruka was running around frantically, despite all of her planning for a rain day scenario, trying to corral everyone into single file and into the right seats.

_There's always something around rainy days..._ Natsuki pondered, sitting in one of the middle rows and listening to the thunder. She looked out the window solemnly, hypnotized by the droplets hitting the glass. All day there had been no sign of Shizuru, when as both the seitoukaichou and student graduating with the highest grade, there was no doubt that her presence was going to be required.

_It's like her to wait until the last minute... if anything to toy with Haruka... But this is cutting it too close, especially for someone how loves the attention,_ she scoffed at her own thoughts, _Yeah... as if I know her anymore._

Her face turned to a scowl then, taunted by her reflection.

"It's my fault... If only I hadn't yelled at her, ran from her... what was I thinking?" she clenched her fist, "All this time I kept acting like she thought I threw our friendship away... but I really did. She's right... I started this."

Unable to hear the approaching stomping over her own whispers, and of course the mass of footsteps of all the students, Natsuki jumped a little when Haruka suddenly appeared beside her.

"Look, I don't know what you did or said, and really, I don't care," the blonde opened, "But for the sake of not having to sit through an hour of waiting for nothing, can you just tell me where Fujino is?"

Natsuki huffed again, not directly at Haruka, but in exasperation.

"I'm guessing she's in her room, I really wouldn't know"

"Can you get her over here?"

"... Probably not."

"Ugh, and why not? Just to piss me off even more?" Haruka's frustration actually waned for a moment after seeing the look on the other girl's face as she spoke next.

"Because... I've lost her..."

-0-

A cool breeze swept through the streets of Fuuka. Graduation was long behind them, and a time of new beginnings was upon the former kaichou. With a smile of relief, as if she would finally get some peace of mind after the recent chaos, Shizuru looked up at what had just become her new apartment.

And she held onto the hand of her other self, ready to begin their life together. Only them.

"We did it Viola… we're free now."

-End-


End file.
